I'm sorry for the lack of updates of any kind. I've gone back into a deep dark depression again, but this time I don't know why... Yes there is some difficult things i'm dealing with, but at the same time i've been so happy. Honestly if I didn't have Greg I wouldn't want to know how i'd be right now. Well I know how i'd be, i've been there before, and I don't want to go back there again. I'm sorry for always blabbering on and on about my stupid life... I know I don't have an interesting or exciting life... I'm just a boring person really, just very lonely right now. No one is awake to talk to, so i'm blabbering in a journal that might get read. I feel pretty damn pathetic right now, ok EXTREMELY pathetic. Truth is, I pretty much hate everything about myself. The only time I feel worth anything is when i'm with Greg, and he's not here right now to cheer me up. He won't be here til next week either. I miss him like crazy, I want to feel wanted, needed, and important. I have no desire to do much of anything, nothing makes me happy except the things I can't have right now. I have been working on the story for Defying Demoniac some, but even that is bringing me down right now. I need my friends now more than ever, but they're all so busy they barely have time for themselves... I miss everybody... Sorry for such a stupid journal... (AND THE STUPID MOOD WON'T CHANGE!)